This past weekend, we joined our friend B____, a so-called “reverse centaur,” on a tour of bars in the Andersonville section of Chicago. (Apparently, you CAN make a horse drink if you lead him to watering holes…and if you buy). Here’s what happens when a bunch of guys and one Houyhmhnm horse around the City of Broad Shoulders:
1. Lady Gregory’s
B____’s head blends into the decor of the library area of this fine Irish pub and restaurant.
Although he’d have fit in better at Lady Godiva’s.
2. Big Jones
The gentlemen here know how to make a Bloody Mary…as a Man O’ War can attest.
3. Edgewater Lounge
B____ hooks up. He’s such a stud.
4. Hamburger Mary’s
We assume the burger is not horse-meat.
5. Hopleaf Bar
The bartender actually said, “Why the long face?” Mad props to him. Here, B____ ponies up his share.
After all those drinks, he has to piss like a horse:
6. T’s Bar
B____ hits on the waitress, who was a good sport about the whole thing. Lesson: “I’m hung like a human” is not the greatest pick-up line.
I’d say more, but I have to see a man about a horse.